The Lord of The Idiots

I recently received an email from a friend (at least I think he’s my friend) in which he called me an idiot.  Well, he didn’t directly call ME an idiot, but he referred to Tea Partiers as idiots.  I’ll assume he did not know I was a Tea Partier since he subsequently emailed me and removed me from his list of idiots.  For which I’m eternally grateful–I think.

But it did give me pause to wonder why Tea Partiers are thought of by many as idiots.  So in my best Jeff Foxworthy impression:

You may be a Tea Partier…

    If you believe the US Constitution is written in stone and not “living and breathing”, subject to the whims of vainglorious legislators or misguided judges.

You may be a Tea Partier…

    If you think that “Thou Shalt Not Steal” applies to everyone; including the government.

You may be a Tea Partier…

    If you think that corporate cronyism will lead to fascism.

You may be a Tea Partier…

    If you think that “Press 2 for Spanish” or bilingual education does little to assimilate immigrants into the American culture leading to the “Balkanization” of America.

You may be a Tea Partier…

    If you see the federal government as out-of-control and encroaching more and more on our civil liberties.

You may be a Tea Partier…

    If you think that every single government program is on the verge of bankruptcy.

You may be a Tea Partier…

    If you resent the enslavement of minorities by a federal government that gives them handouts instead of opportunities.

You may be a Tea Partier…
    If you are angry that your children’s and grandchildren’s futures are being mortgaged to China.

And you may be a Tea Partier…

    If you tire at being called a racist and a bigot because you believe in the America of our Founding Fathers.

If these make me a Tea Partier AND an idiot, well, you can just call me “Lord of The Idiots.”  

That’s a moniker I’d be proud to wear.