Roll up, Roll up for the Apology Tour.
Roll up, Roll up for the Apology Tour.
And that’s an invitation, roll up for the Apology Tour.
For a capitulation, roll up for the Apology Tour.
The Magical Apology Tour, is hoping to put us away.
He’s hoping to put us away.
Roll up, Roll up for the Apology Tour.
Roll up, Roll up for the Apology Tour.
He’s got everything you need,
Satisfaction guaranteed.
The Magical Apology Tour is hoping to put us away,
Hoping to put us away, put us away.
(with apologies to The Beatles)
While our Dear Leader is throwing out apologies for America’s crimes against the world, I would like to add my list of the things he missed.
We’re sorry for sending our military to Europe in 1918 to save it from the invasion of the Huns.
We’re sorry for sending in our military (again) to Europe to save it from the invasion of Nazis. Thus having stopped the slaughter of Jews, Poles, Catholics, Gays and just about everyone else on the continent.
We’re sorry for sending our military (again) to Asia to combat Imperial Japan from raping and murdering the innocents in such incomprehensible acts of barbarism.
We’re sorry for sending our military (again) to Korea to keep South Korea from becoming a socialist paradise like North Korea.
We’re sorry for spending hundreds of billions of dollars and stationing our military in far off lands (again) to keep Europe out of the hands of smiling Joe Stalin, the Dear Leader of The Union of Soviet SOCIALIST States, who by the way, killed 40 million of his own people.
We’re sorry for sending our military (again) to South Viet Nam to keep it from becoming another socialist paradise like North Viet Nam. (More on this later).
We’re sorry for taking in hundreds of thousands of Cubans fleeing Castro’s free health care for everyone.
We’re sorry for sending our military (again) to free Kuwait from the clutches of a megalomaniac.
We’re sorry for sending our military (again) and freeing 25 million Afghans from the tyranny of the Taliban’s Muslim rulers who stoned women to death for going outside without their Yves St. Laurent signature burkhas.
We’re sorry for sending our military (again) and freeing 25 million Iragis from the tyranny of a madman who kept rape rooms and dug mass graves for 300,000 of his own people, used WMDs on the Iranians and the Kurds and had dreams of becoming the new Saladin.
We’re sorry for sending $300 million to aid the victims of the tsunami in Asia.
We’re sorry for sending tens of billions of dollars to Africa to fight poverty and AIDS; even though most of the money ended up in the pockets of tyrannical despots.
Let’s see, have I forgot anything else we should apologize for? I could probably find a few more if I looked. Oh look, here’s one I forgot:
We’re sorry we elected Barack Hussein Obama to occupy the office once held by giants like George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Ronald Reagan. For that dear God, we’re truly sorry.
